It has been an interesting few months as my five year old has made his way into the public school system. As a parent, it has been fascinating to watch the excitement with which he has embraced the experience, as well as the gradual distance that he is beginning to place between his “big school” life and his “daycare” life.
As a parent, I’ve entered the process with him, committing to be part of the School Council, attending school events and, most recently, being present in his Junior Kindergarten class for our first “observation” and conversation with his beloved teacher.
It’s been quite a fascinating experience, but I must admit to feeling a little bit of tension between my new reality as parent and my more familiar role as educator. Even though we’re part of an active and vibrant school community, it has been a little difficult separating what I have come to know and believe about teaching, learning and the role of the school in the development of children on the one hand, and the special interest I have in the development of my own child on the other. While I anticipated that this might occur, I’m still not sure how I will handle it.
Which hat do I don when I make my way to the school to participate in School Council meetings? Am I Mr. Hurley, the parent, or am I Stephen Hurley, the educator? To what degree do I bring my ideas and beliefs about things that matter to me in education to the table? Do I send the principal links to what I’m writing, or do I keep this part of my life to myself? Do I offer my services as educator to the school, or do I do my best to remain incognito (not that I’m a famous celebrity or anything)? Even though I’m employed in a different district, should I even be on the School Council?
There has been some fascinating discussion on this over at Paul Bennett’s site this week, and it’s that conversation that has led me to ask some basic questions about how I should be moving. The part of me that strives for integrity would say, “Act always according to your beliefs and values”. The part of me that is aware of the politics of schools and the way that some parents get labelled by teachers and administrators might say, “Proceed with some caution.”
What say you? I know that I’m not the first to encounter this tension, so I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Should I check my “educator” coat at the door? Should I go in and speak with the principal at this early stage? Should I try to walk through the next stage of life with a foot in both camps? Should this even be an issue? If you’re an educator-parent, what has been your experience?
I don’t that it is possible to put away one hat in place of another Stephen. You will always have a global perspective because you are true to your beliefs and values. One piece of advice I give to parents/guardian ( not just those with educational background) is to take the first step in introducing themselves to the classroom teacher and school principal. It breaks the ice – puts a face to a name and creates an opportunity to get to know each other as a person. Once people know your background and you know them your answers will just flow. Four moms -1 Dream wrote a great blog post http://4moms1dream.blogspot.com/2012/01/partnership-or-teamwork.html about partnerships and team work and you might find their thoughts helpful.
There will always be people who will question your motives. The clearer you are in describing your principles, your experiences and your desire to support students, families and schools the faster those around you will be able to respond positively to what you do and think. Slow and steady helps to keep the boat afloat. I learned that lesson the hard way. Have fun and enjoy your time with your son.
Thank you for the advice and the support Lorna. Specifically the “slow and steady” warning is helpful. I met the 4 moms when I was out in B.C. last year…very passionate and dedicated! I’ll keep you posted.
Great to read your thoughts on this, Stephen. Glad to hear that you have been participating in so many ways in education – all the hats needed! Parents bring their skills, experience, and knowledge to their school communities in many different ways. I don’t see any reason for you not to speak to your educational perspectives, whether it is in regards to your own child or for the discussions at the school council table that are to take place for the broader benefit of all the families. I have always viewed school councils as a partnership table, so all dialogue should be welcome on a matter. Strength in differences? I understand your question about whether you should be on a school council, but you have every right and opportunity to do so (if you were employed at the school then you could not). Also, even if you are not “on” the school council, you should still be able to have access to the discussions, decision-making process, and activities regardless, as all parents at the school should. The parent members are parent representatives, just as a teacher member is a teacher representative. In an ideal world, I guess, the channels of communication back and forth would be very open.
It took me some time as well to feel right about sharing my education perspectives during school council discussions, but eventually I did more and more if I felt that it helped other parents understand all the confusing things about education! I think I held back quite a bit too until a principal told me that there was nothing wrong with sharing my perspective. I guess it is all about how one goes about it regardless of hat or title – sharing to learn from one another and not sounding like we have it all figured out!
Hope you will share more about your hats and camps — teaching and parenting out loud
Thanks for your response, your experience and your passion for this. The part of your response that emerges as being very important is the part about the open channels of communication. I read most of what comes home to the school, but there may be room to develop a separate portal of information from the School Council…over and above the call for volunteers to count money and deliver pizza.
You’ve got me thinking!