There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum
— Dr. Carl Jung, in conversation with Dr. Richard Evans, 1957
I’ve known for sometime that I am an introvert. Well OK, let me clarify that. The several Meyers Briggs Type Indicator tests that I’ve had done over the years (professionally and online) place me pretty much at the center of the introvert-extrovert spectrum. Technically, that would make me an ambivert which isn’t as accurate as the description that I’ve developed for myself: an introvert with extrovert overtones! I know, I know, it sounds like I’m describing a vintage Pinot Noir, perhaps owing to the fact that I’ve recently purchased a wine app for my iPad.
Recently, I’ve been inspired to do something that I’ve never done before. At the risk of sounding ironically reduntant, I’m happy to report that I’ve begun to embrace my introverted self. After decades of trying to be that extroverted, outgoing, throw-caution-to-the-wind kind of guy, I’ve decided to openly declare that I much prefer to live life as an introvert. I figure that sitting on the wall, as I do, I can darn well decide which way I want to fall in this matter.
There are, to be sure, distinct advantages to nurturing the extroverted approach to living—
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much of the world is predisposed to your personality type: everyone likes an extrovert!
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it’s easier to survive in modern institutions: school, office environments…even churches
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there is no need to explain your extroversion away
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there is a never-ending supply of energy out there for you
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it’s likely much easier for you to find role models in the entertainment business that resonate with your personality: I don’t know what the ratio might be, but there is definitely a pro-extrovert bias in today’s mass media market
But I’ve begun to discover that embracing one’s intoverted nature comes with its own perks—
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I have a legitimate excuse not to have to go to large, noisy parties
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I stand a better chance of getting to know people on a deeper level more quickly: quality not quantity
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I have a good excuse to just wander off with a book in my hand
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I feel justified in going off to do the grocery shopping on my own
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I have a good excuse for not doing all of those touch-feely activities that workshop presenters want us to do…and enjoy!
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I don’t have to talk, if I don’t want to: I can feel comfortable sitting and listening
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I can legitimately reserve a place on the edge of everything…and just watch, if I want
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I can write as many blog entries a day as I want
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I can “write off” my “Angry Birds” activity as thinking time
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I can go to restaurants alone, if I want and not feel like a loser
All kidding aside, in her book, Quiet: The Power of the Introvert in a World That Talks Too Much, Susan Cain points to the fact that the world really values the extroverted personality much more than it does that of the introvert. But if she is right in claiming that 1/3 to 1/2 of the population actually lean more to the introverted side of living, then there must be a significant amount of discomfort and discombobulation out there.
One thing that I’ve found to be true is that, despite attempts to hide, deny or even fake personality traits, true personal peace and satisfaction comes from being true to yourself.
I’ve more to think about in terms of finding the right introvert/extrovert balance in our social institutions—including our schools—but I wanted to jump in with this form of personal confession and declaration of my own personal biases.
I look forward to hearing your stories of coming to know and embrace your own introverted (or extroverted) self.
Another beautiful advantage to being an introvert is that you can leave a boring party and nobody will notice (unless you happen to be the piano player).
IF you’re the piano player, the party is usually over when you leave!!!!
Good post.
Even though your benefits are offered tongue in cheek, I may try to use being introverted to avoid the workshop “let’s get together and sing Kumbaya” moments.
Ishow up as an INTP on the Myers Briggs/Keirsey Bates tests. Like you, I have much more thinking to do about putting any knowledge about introversion into classroom action. The averages don’t apply equally to sections of students who walk through the door. My best personal adaptation has been staying in my classroom alone during lunch to recharge.
I appreciated Cain’s discussion of people who act extroverted in public situations. I am not as flamboyant as some of her examples, but I do frequently call upon myself to put on an act during the time students are in the room.
Thanks for the response LK. Actually, while the benefits were presented in a tongue-in-cheek manner (probably more for self-protection than anything else), they are real examples from my own life and thinking. I look forward to exploring the classroom connections more fully, so it would be great if you could stop back to check in!
Thanks…
So very true – “that the world really values the extroverted personality much more than it does that of the introvert. But if she is right in claiming that 1/3 to 1/2 of the population actually lean more to the introverted side of living, then there must be a significant amount of discomfort and discombobulation out there.
One thing that I’ve found to be true is that, despite attempts to hide, deny or even fake personality traits, true personal peace and satisfaction comes from being true to yourself.”
The school culture also values the extroverted personalities of students, much more than the introverted students, especially in the lower elementary grades of schooling. I am an introvert at heart, but it is only one of the many aspects of my self. Having introvert tendencies, I see it as a positive quality to nurture in children, because in my experience children need to be comfortable in their own skins, as to who they are. On a side note, a benefit children learned eventually doing solitary activities without having an audience, gaining self-confidence and independence.
It is why I laugh at the few listed by Stephen, under embracing one’s intoverted nature comes with its own perks.
1. I have a good excuse for not doing all of those touch-feely activities that workshop presenters want us to do…and enjoy!
2. I don’t have to talk, if I don’t want to: I can feel comfortable sitting and listening
3. I can go to restaurants alone, if I want and not feel like a loser
The above is the adult version. Below is the kid version in school.
1. If kids are not enthusiastically participating in group and classroom – they are seen as having a mental health issues, behaviour issues and often are the ones that have all the ‘NI” – needs improvement
2. If kids are not actively engaged in learning, speaking and participating in class, they are targeted for not listening in the class.
3. The kids who are the loners, are either ignore or being harassed by the adults to join the other kids or a combination of the two and worse yet, are used as one of the many excuses for lower achievement.
My point is, when kids are not enthusiastically participating in every aspect of school and their education, the school culture begins the work of a pecking order, where all students have to meet the standard of the ‘ideal student’. Most students never make the grade, and in the end developed their fake personalities and their true personalities rarely reveal themselves at school. Just asked a parent and the many descriptions of their children by the school staff and administrators. They rarely do not match, or even come close to the parent’s version. For my youngest child, the school describes a child that is the polar opposite of my version, and took her introvert tendencies as one of the reasons that she did not need extra educational services in the 3 Rs. My concerns were dismissed, and I was force to become more of an introvert, a role where confrontation was not my cup of tea. It was confrontation because it is not a social conversation to which I am not at all adverse to. It is a school holding all the cards on information versus the parent with deficits of knowledge. I believe parents who have strong extrovert tendencies, are the ones that the school is falling all over themselves to help the parents. As for the rest of the parents, the school culture sets up the pecking order of parents as it is done for the students, often describing their children that do not match the parents’ descriptions of their own children.
As always, thank you for your insights Nancy. It’s interesting, as I read through your comments, I find myself going back over the years in my own teaching career and “remembering” students in my class that may have fallen on the introverted side of the scale. I think that, in a very unconscious way, I may have favoured the kids that were more bubbly, outgoing and extroverted. They may even have received better marks because of it.
I wonder…
Another point to add. Those of us who are more introverted are the “think before you act” types. When there are important decisions to be made this kind of thought and reflection should be encouraged. Don’t assume your quiet staff members have no opinion, give them time to think and then ask. If you don’t ask they may never volunteer. If you are an introvert, ask for ‘think time’ when you want it…I find that telling someone “this is important and I’d like to give it some more thought” is appreciated and gets me the time I need to reflect.
Thanks for this Vicki! I agree that this is could be a very powerful realization for many school leaders. I’m wondering whether there are any principals out there that are taking this into consideration and building something into the dynamic of their school.
I think there are lots of ways that Meyers Briggs can have an impact on the classroom. The right letters escape me at the moment, but there’s a handful of personalities for who elaboration, explanation, adding detail is really difficult. It’s hard in oral conversation, but nearly agony to get them to add detail in writing. Although their writing often looks terse or vague, to those folks, the details are crystal clear for them. “It was fun,” means a host of things they associate with the memory they are supposed to describe. So it’s an art to pull detailed writing out of those kids, and another art to pull it out in a way that honors their introversion/extroversion.
Wow, I would love to know more about this particular temperament. I know that many years have washed over Jung’s original thinking on personality and temperament, but I’m surprised that these conversations aren’t more a part of our work on differentiation. Or perhaps they are, couched in other language?
“It’s hard in oral conversation, but nearly agony to get them to add detail in writing. Although their writing often looks terse or vague, to those folks, the details are crystal clear for them. “It was fun,” means a host of things they associate with the memory they are supposed to describe. So it’s an art to pull detailed writing out of those kids, and another art to pull it out in a way that honors their introversion/extroversion.”
My kid was one of those students, and her problem as with most kids their skills in reading and writing. Difficult to do when students do not have the foundation skills, to pull out detail in writing and really difficult to do to honour their introvert and extrovert tendencies.
Well said, Nancy. I wonder how many teachers are aware of these students in their class.